Summary of First Three Months Retreat

Upon completing my first three months retreat I’ve listed down some of the extraordinary experiences I had while on retreat.

1. Realized COMPASSION
2. Experienced selflessness over and over again
3. Experienced different levels of emptiness
4. Realized my spiritual goal and understood I am not doing this only for myself
5. Had the pleasure of chanting metta – loving kindness – in pali, every night for months and months
6. Had the good fortune of receiving some of the most extraordinary and rare Buddhist teachings on the subject of emptiness (the Heart Sutra)
7. Had the courage and the good fortune to renounce my former life and leave for an unknown journey without really knowing why. I only knew that there were things I need to explore out there.
8. Realized I actually have very good and loving friends
9. Lost more than 10 kg and about 10 years in my appearance
10. Returned to my original hair color
11. Realized I can actually live very simply
12. Realized I don’t really need allot of privacy as I previously thought I did
13. Understood my karmic role in this life
14. Realized how powerful the mind is when it is pure – found incredible powers I had no idea exist and no idea I posses
15. Found the courage to be completely honest with people I care about
16. Found the courage to let go of people
17. Found out I can forgive and let go of the past. For example, I forgave a person who many years ago tried to violently rape me on Yom Kippur – the Highest Jewish Holiday (I managed to escape!!). Not only I forgave him, I also found myself wishing him well, genuinely hoping he will get over his defilement of anger and greed and find happiness. That is my friends – the power of practice.
18. Found levels of generosity and caring I had no idea existed in me
19. Found out how to give without expecting anything in return (that doesn’t mean it is always working)
20. Found myself expressing gratitude for my good fortune tens times a day. Still cannot believe how lucky I am to have my life.
21. Realized the state of stillness of mind and experienced long long long period of thoughtlessness and voidness
22. Realized that unfortunately I still have ego and pride and that despite all the beautiful experiences I can easily return to being selfish and put my self in the center
23. Found the capacity to forgive myself for my mistakes
24. Realized I still have a very long way to go